1.27.1010 What It Takes to Record

Well Blue Luster headed into the studio last night, guitars and jager in hand, to start work on a concept album from the depths of hell. After watching many many hours of metalocalypse it got me thinking, how can I get the heaviest possible sound ever. Many have tried though the years, early Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Mayhem… One thing that has been the same thoughout, someone in the band has to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for the heaviest album ever. I would but I already sold mine to beat the original NES Zelda. Man was that worth it. I personally nominate James. Pat and JD seem to have pretty tight grips on their souls, but James is already headed down the path of destruction and evil. I show up to practice all the time and there will be James, bathing in green jello again. He swears its more metal to bath in the hooves dead horses, but I think he just likes the green tint it gives to his skin. He also drives a red car, and we all know red is the color of satan. I could go on and on about how James is a loyal minion of the dark prince but I think we’re all on the same page here. Another trickier but equally effective approach is sacrificing a virgin. This would be a great idea except…Blue Luster doesn’t know any virgins. Once plan A or B is in place we can start work on the album. Until then, I will be waiting patiently, in a hotel pool, at night, with my bottle of vodka and my mother.